There are times when you meet someone and are immediately pulled toward them or sparks fly while the world seemingly slows down, then you have chemistry. It may even seem that they are feeling the exact same thing at the same time. While this is a somewhat romanticized version of chemistry, it is not totally inaccurate. There are instant connections, sparks, and even intuitive bonds that start great relationships. The magnetism is so powerful at times, it is palpable.
Sadly, when this happens, we often start doubting right away. We may question the attraction or feel we were only fooling ourselves. At times, perhaps the feeling was blurred by something. If you have felt strong emotions, but cannot read them, then pay attention. If the chemistry is real then the following signs will be present between two people. Simply watch for the signs.
Body language is a form of nonverbal communication that can demonstrate more than words. It can also be effective in determining chemistry. If body language is positive in nature then a connection is occurring. Positive body language is when the person is open physically (arms uncrossed; legs turned toward you; licking lips; playing with hair; flushing). Being able to spot these signs can go a long way to recognizing chemistry.
Body language is honest even when we try to hide true feelings. The subtle cues can demonstrate attraction even when the words do not match what is happening. If you exhibit the same signs as another person, it is always a positive sign.
Teasing One Another
Though teasing is somewhat childish, it can be used to gauge chemistry. Teasing is often a sign of interest from someone else and as adults it is a purposeful way to gain attention and get a reaction. It may also be a way to establish rapport with someone in a fun way. The teasing that typically occurs between adults that demonstrates positive chemistry are things like:
- Playful back and forth banter
- Light pushing or touching in a playful way
- Cute nicknames
- Making fun of each other in a harmless way
This teasing is never meant to be harmful or hurtful when chemistry is involved, but a way of interacting in an amusing manner.
Intense Eye Contact
One of the most powerful forms of chemistry is eye contact. Watching how long two people gaze at one another can be a sign of positive chemistry. Eye contact allows you to get to know one another with few, if any, words. When you feel chemistry with someone, you tend to stare at them, your eyes draw to their being. However, if you are caught staring, you are likely to quickly look away, pretending you have not been staring.
The same people that steal longing glances will maintain eye contact when talking with someone they share chemistry with. In fact, it may last so long that they get too intense and look away. Other eye related body language that indicates chemistry include dilated pupils, eyebrows that re slightly raised, focused gazes, or gazes that look back and forth between the lips and eyes.
When chemistry is felt between two people, flirting occurs. This flirting is usually slight because of the intensity of even a light touch. Flirting may include prolonged hugs, a hand on the back, or any excise to touch the other person. This subtle flirting is often used to express attraction without being obvious to those around. The secrecy can build attraction in the beginnings of a relationship.
When around someone you like, you often smile without thinking. If you and the person you suspect chemistry with are both grinning around one another, then chemistry is likely present. Sometimes, it does not even take interaction, just a glance in their direction to bring a smile to your face. That is how chemistry works.
Taking Notice of Small Things
There are small details in life that are often overlooked, but when chemistry is present, those small things will be noticed. When you have positive chemistry with someone they are more likely to notice a new hair style, new clothes, or even nervous habits. They may also know how to cheer you up in small ways that few others would pick up on in life. Simple things like remembering mundane details about another’s life shows chemistry and that extra attention was paid while you spoke.
Focused on One Another
Positive chemistry with someone else is commonly shown in a room full of people. This happens when even though others are present, the other person is focused predominantly on you. This can be distracting in life as you wait for their messages, e-mails, and texts, but you must strike a balance between the chemistry and what must get done. Never forget about your daily responsibilities.
Time flies when you are having fun, but it also flies when with someone you have chemistry. You my feel there is not enough time in your life to spend with them as you take part in lengthy, deep conversations, share hobbies, or simply stand in the same room together doing nothing. It never seems like enough because you never want to be apart.
We all know what a palpable tension is when walking into a room. At times this is a bad tension, but when the chemistry is right, you can feel it as well. This is often described as desire and while it is not enough to sustain a long term relationship, it does help identify chemistry. Try to make sure you remain rational when around this person because what they do will affect you both positively and negatively if you let it.
When other commitments take you away from someone with which you share chemistry, you will miss them instantly. You may be rushing to get to see them again, counting down the seconds. You may also go out of your way, drive further or longer, just for a few extra minutes together. If it is not someone you get to see often, you may make sure to attend events that the other will be at just to catch a glimpse. This is normal because chemistry creates a longing.
Chemistry cannot be forced because it is natural. You either have it with someone or not because it is about connection and often, immediate infatuation. Chemistry can play a role in relationships, but it cannot be the defining property long term. Allow chemistry to build a desire and connection, then build on those first few steps for something more meaningful. Chemistry can light the fires of something beautiful, but it is up to you and your partner to help keep it burning.