How to Know When a Guy is Hot or Cold

Are you dating someone, and you feel that they are happy one day and then cold to you the next? Do you feel that they are always texting you and talking to you but then they aren’t?

This can be a situation that is very confusing. When a guy comes and goes o you, you might wonder if they like you and what you can do to even make things work.

When a guy puts you on an emotional roller coaster, here are some things you need to pay attention to:

He Doesn’t Know What He Feels

Chances are that your guy might not really know what he feels about you or the relationship. This might not have anything to do with you but all to do with him. Maybe he just got out of a bad relationship or maybe he hasn’t dated much and so he isn’t really sure what he wants in the relationship.

Everyone has to make up their mind and choose what they want. If he wants to be with you, talk to him and tell him how he is making you feel.

Staying Cool

Everyone hates mind games and if he is taking too long to reply to you and not giving you the attention, you need, he might just be trying to be cool.

Instead of acting like he is overly interested in you, he might want to look like he isn’t that interested in you so that he can use reverse psychology on you.

If he likes you, he will show you that he is interested in you.

Being Mean

Another game some men play is one where they act like they don’t like you one minute and the next they are all over you. They want to have you, but they act like they want to move on.

This gives him power to treat you how he wants, and you need to set your foot down and not give into him.

He Talks to Other People

Maybe he is talking to more people than just you. Maybe he is all about you one minute and then the next he isn’t talking to you because he is talking to someone else. He could be distracted because he is talking and focused on something or someone else.

This can tell you why he acts weird around you. He might look at his phone a lot or give you the feeling something isn’t right.

Something is Going On

Chances are that he is acting distant, and it has nothing to do with you. Maybe he is busy in his life or his job.

It is hard to remember to text back when you are busy with things in life and even if he likes you and this is happening, you just aren’t his number one priority yet.

Accept that he isn’t ready to settle and use your energy to make your life happy.

Going Slow

If he seems like he loves to be around you and you cannot figure out why he is pulling away, maybe he is wanting to take things slow.

He might like you a lot and want to take things further, but he might want to see where things are going to go first.

If you have started dating and he is cold and hot, he might be trying to make things go slow so that he can see how things will work. He is afraid of rushing things because he wants the relationship to last.

Even if this is weird to you, give him time to commit. If he isn’t ready for that yet, give him time. He might have been in a serious relationship that went sour, and he doesn’t want the same thing to happen with you.

He Isn’t Interested

Even though no one wants to face it, sometimes a guy is no longer interested in you. He is giving you signals that he is done, and you need to take them as they are.

Maybe he doesn’t know how to break up with you and maybe he just had different reasons to not be in a relationship. Don’t let this get you down and do not think it takes away from your value.

Maybe he just found that you and he weren’t meant to be together. He wants to break up with you and so he feels that if he is cold to you that he can put distance between you.

Dealing with a Hot and Cold Guy

You have decided that your guy is being hot and cold with you and so you need to know what to do next.

It can be hard to deal with this kind of person in your life and here are some tips on how to handle it:

Be Calm

No matter what is going on, learn to stay calm. No one wants to play mind games and if he is pushing you away and then coming back, you will be confused and overwhelmed. Do not act the same way he is acting.

Stay calm and see what is really going on. Be relaxed and see if he is just busy or if he wants to move on away from you.

Staying in this relationship will help you to realize if you want to be with him or not. The more you stay calm, the more likely he will come to you and tell you what is going on.

If you are constantly stressed, he will not want to be part of that stress and he may just feel too much pressure to talk to you.

Familiar Things

If you get used to your guy being about you and he starts being more distant, do not get upset or mad. This can be because you are getting to know each other better.

The more comfortable you are with someone, the more you will see that you can be who you are normally. This means that you are out of the honeymoon phase and you are beginning to see the relationship for what it is.

When he is cold, he might just be doing his normal pace. Each relationship will go through different stages and when you become familiar with each other, the texting and all that can become less and less.

There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with each other, but it is important that you let things grow.

Stay Distracted

One thing that you can find is when a guy is hot and cold with you, you can either spend all your time wondering why, or you can learn to just stay distracted. Stop looking at their problems and their behavior and find something to do to keep you busy.

If things are going great and then your boyfriend takes time and doesn’t talk to you for a while, don’t be mad, just let it go.

When your guy makes you feel anxious, he will feel that, and things will all of a sudden always feel off or wrong. We have a mindset where we focus on negative things and we need to learn to change that.

Learn to focus on your relationship and if you see a red flag, pay attention to it. But in the meantime, find hobbies that make you happy and do things to stay distracted. When he wants to talk to you, he will.


No matter what is going on, you have to communicate with your partner. Tell them what you are feeling and find out why he is being the way he is being.

Talk to him about what he is doing and let him know that you will not play mind games with him. Let him know that you do not like how he is acting and try to find out why.

Let him be honest with you and if he is ready to end the relationship, accept it. Show him that you know what is going on and that you are feeling upset about it. Find a way to move forward.

Know When to Leave

If your man is playing mind games and causing you to be upset, he might just be messing with you. He is doing it and it is upsetting you and you need to know what he wants out of you.

If this is causing you to feel negative all the time, you need to stand your ground and face him or walk away.

If you find that his behavior is unacceptable and he keeps doing the same thing over and over again, there isn’t much you can do.

Once you talk about it, if he chooses not to change, you need to just leave him. This can be hard, especially if you love him and if you are committed to him, but if he won’t change, it is time that you move on.

Take steps to stop the game playing and no matter where you stand, you will see that you are important and that you are valuable, rather you are with a man or not.

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