Are You Falling Out of Love or Going Through a Slump?

Man with a silver beard holding a cup at a kitchen table

Feeling distant from a partner can mean you are worn down by everyday life, carrying hurt from an unresolved issue or losing interest in a future together. Look at when it changed, how you feel in different situations and whether both of you want to try something that could make daily life better.

On this page
  1. Look back at when things changed
  2. Talk about the distance plainly
  3. Try one change you both want
  4. Give yourself room to decide what comes next

Look back at when things changed

Think about recent changes in sleep, work, caregiving or time together. Was there an argument you never finished or a promise that didn’t hold? Try a couple of specific examples. Notice when you still feel close, and which situations leave you relieved to have space.

Talk about the distance plainly

Choose a calm moment and say what you’ve noticed. “We’ve been getting through dinner and going straight back to work. I miss talking to you. Would you have time for a walk on Sunday?” Ask how they’ve felt and give each other room to answer honestly.

A woman reads a paper beside an open laptop at a white table.
Write down one change you both want to try and set a day to see whether it made a difference.

Try one change you both want

If you both want to reconnect, choose a plan you can manage, such as sharing a quiet meal or revisiting a conflict with time set aside. Talk again after trying it. Notice whether you feel more at ease, whether the issue is easier to discuss and whether both of you keep showing up.

Give yourself room to decide what comes next

Changes in sexual desire and enjoying time alone can happen for many reasons. Pay attention to what you want over time and whether you feel safe talking about it. If one of you wants to end the relationship or the same serious problems keep returning, talk through next steps at a pace you can handle.


When you feel less connected. Look back for a change. Talk about one example. Try a small adjustment. Review how it feels. A text version follows.

Read the infographic in text

When you feel less connected

Look at what changed and what you can try.

  1. Look back for a change Think about when the distance began and what else was happening.
  2. Talk about one example Say what you miss and ask how the other person understands the change.
  3. Try a small adjustment Choose one routine or conversation you both want to make time for.
  4. Review how it feels Notice whether the effort is shared and how the pattern changes over time.

You can give yourself more time to answer the larger question.