Dating as a single mom can bring questions about time, privacy and when to introduce someone to your children. Alaina Shearer and Kaywanda Lamb took different paths through those decisions.
Alaina Shearer’s experience
Alaina Shearer founded Women in Digital and wrote the blog Ms. Single Mama. She became a single mother at 26, when her child was four months old. As she began thinking about dating, much of the advice she found focused on what she shouldn’t do. She started writing about her own experience and shared both the good and difficult parts.
Kaywanda Lamb’s experience
Kaywanda Lamb had heard that men without children wouldn’t want to date a single mother. She later met a single man who cared about her sons. They dated for three years. The relationship ended for other reasons, and she draws on that experience when she talks with single mothers about dating.
Taking introductions at your pace
Early dates can stay separate from family life. Talk first about what you’re both looking for and what meeting the children would mean. When you’re ready, choose a short, low-pressure activity and let your children ask questions afterward. You can also be clear about the time you have for dating without sharing the details of your children’s routines.
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Dating as a single mom
Use daily life to choose your pace.
- Start with your own time Choose a plan that fits your energy, family responsibilities and interests.
- Be clear about availability Describe when you can see someone and what you want to keep private.
- Keep introductions deliberate Consider the children’s routines and readiness before making introductions.
- Review your comfort Decide what feels better after a date and what you want to change next time.
The stories in the article offer examples you can consider alongside your own circumstances.