People may occasionally fib, but lying can be very toxic in relationships. We talked with relationship experts to better help you identify when your partner is being dishonest and how to correct the situations.
- Change in attitude or routine
People typically are creatures of comfort. When someone veers from their habits, it could be a sign that they are under substantial stress or being manipulative. It is especially worrisome if you partner is suddenly cancelling plans or creating distance between you both. Other times they may be going overboard with affection in way that is unsettling. If you notice your lover acting out of sorts consider having a serious conversation about what is going on and if they aren’t willing to share with you, consider ending the relationship.
- What they show others is not how they act with you
You expect your partner to be at work like they told you, but suddenly you discover they have checked-in to a local movie theater. This is a good sign they might be lying to you. Consider discussing how to handle last minute plan changes and what rules you both want to set up about what you are sharing on social media to avoid any surprises or hurt feelings.
- They claim they don’t lie
No one is every 100% honest all the time. People commonly tell white lies to help avoid hurt feelings or causing a fight. However, deception is never ok. You both need to discuss your views on fibs versus lies so you can establish appropriate ground rules.
- They don’t take responsibility
Words matters and can signal a person telling a truth or lie. If someone has a knee jerk reaction of “I didn’t do it,” there is a significant chance they are being dishonest. A person who is honest typically will stretch out the syntax to “I did not do that (insert the action).” This shows they are thinking things through and understand the situation more fully.
- They avoid eye contact
Unless your partner has a neurological issue, a failure to make eye contact can signal they may be deceiving you.
- They lean away from you
Individuals that subconsciously back away from a person signifies a desire to create psychological distance as well as physical space.
- They shift blame
Liars and cheaters often deflect in order to justify their actions and shift attention elsewhere. If someone is prone to maladaptive actions, they naturally assume others are capable of the same.
- Someone else is sounding alarms
It’s tough to process when someone is telling you unflattering insights about the person you love. It’s easy to ignore these red flags, but if multiple people are saying the same thing you must pay attention. This signals it’s time to have a serious discussion with your partner.