Although the ideal solution to dealing with an unfaithful partner is to leave that person, sometimes that’s not always the case. Some women, for whatever reasons, chose to stay with their unfaithful husband and may be struggling with how to recover from the physical and emotional betrayal. There may be different reasons why a woman would choose to stay in a relationship after having found out her husband has cheated. Maybe she wants to keep the family together for the sake of the children, or maybe she can’t leave her husband until she can be financially independent. Whatever the reasons may be, let’s take a look at some helpful tips that will help you get through it.
Seek Out Plenty of Support
You’re more than likely going to be going through an emotional rollercoaster after having discovered your husband has cheated. So, it’s very important to seek out friends and family who will be able to offer you the support you’ll need. You’re going to need a shoulder to cry on and the strength of those who support you to get through everything. That’s why it’s so important to have a strong support system to help get you process and heal.
Insist Upon Disclosure from Your Husband
You and your husband will have to sit down and talk if you’re deciding to stay with him after his infidelity. And when you do sit down with him, you must insist upon full disclosure. Don’t be afraid to ask as many questions you need to so that you can get an insight into the history and scope of his behavior. Be sure to ask him about all of the times you may have doubted where he was and what he was doing as well.
If you and your husband are going to move forward together, then you are entitled to lay down some rules regarding where you stand and how you’re going to make sure he stays faithful. Share you concerns and make sure he truly knows how much he’s shattered the trust between the two of you. In doing so, you can set rules as to how often he should check in with you. He’s the one that must reestablish the trust, so don’t be afraid to set some ground rule going forward.
Both of You Should Get Tested for STDs
Because of your husband’s infidelity, your health may have been put at risk. Both of you should get tested for STDs. Stand your ground on this one, no matter how much he insists that he was careful and is clean. It’s not worth risking your health by not making sure he hasn’t passed on an STD to you.
Don’t Rush Back into Intimacy
Take your time when it comes to reconnecting with your husband and getting back to being intimate. It’s okay to feel hurt and repulsed by the idea of your husband being with another woman. That’s perfectly normal. So, don’t put a time constraint on when you should feel like sleeping with him again. Everyone heals at different paces, and rushing back into intimacy isn’t going to make the pain go away any faster.
Cleanse the Cheating Mess
Anything that helped contribute to your husband’s cheating such as certain people, sites, services, and apps should be gotten rid of by him. Make sure he’s complied with your request for him to clean up his mess. You can even ask that he does these things in front of you for added reassurance.
If it all Feels Like Too Much to Handle…Seek out Counselling
Sometimes, you and your husband may need to seek out counselling to help you work through his infidelity issues. Talking it out with a professional will help you both work through your problems and help offer solutions that will hopefully help you heal and move on. They key is to overcome the betrayal, and in talking to a counsellor, he or she will be able to help direct you down the positive path to forgiveness.