If you have recently broken up with your guy, then reuniting may seem like something that is impossible. However, you can learn some simple techniques that will help you get him back and prevent you from doing the wrong things.
The situation may look bad and you may be shocked the relationship ended. You were likely planning your future together which makes the break-up much more painful. It can be tough to move on, but the best thing to do is accept the break-up for now. Then work toward getting him back with the right approach.
Keep Yourself Together
If you want your relationship back you must have a clear head. This means getting and keeping your emotions in check. Just because a relationship ended does not mean you need to put yourself down. Sooner or later, everyone experiences this. Some aspects of the relationship were likely weak, but can be fixed.
Start by changing your emotional energy and doing things to raise your self-esteem. Take your friends out for something you all enjoy and excel at to provide a positive rush. This will help as you try to win your man back. Make sure you are eating healthy and staying fit so your mood doesn’t drop. A good mood is more likely to attract a man.
Make sure you have and keep a solid support system when you are weak. Family and friends are great at this. Even in weak moments, do not think things are bad, you are just hurt.
Being super needy sends signals, you do not want. This may push your ex further away by pleading too much to get back together. He may get defensive and fully ignore you if you are too pushy. This goes for gifts, letters, texts and social media. You will not be able to bribe him into a reunion.
Though no contact my seem counterproductive, it is highly important for a reunion. Do not speak to him at all until you are calm, usually a month, before making contact of any kind. This gives him time to think of the good times and cool down as well. Try to keep your mind off of him and let him miss you. If you are constantly contacting him, he cannot miss you. This includes staying away from his family and friends as well.
Be the Best You
Take your mind off the relationship for awhile to win him back. If you continually think about your breakup, you will be weakened and emotional. Enjoy your life with fun activities that get you back on your feet. Be the lovable, fun person that your ex once fell for. Simply improving the way you feel about yourself will actually draw your ex to you, as well as others.
You must restore your inner balance to get your ex back. This is best done by letting the emotions flow when you are feeling weak. Feel those emotions and find an emotional outlet. Creating a false mood can hurt you and leave the wound unable to heal. Get the negative emotions out so they do not follow you back into the relationship.
Spend time thinking about what went wrong in the relationship or what caused it to spin out of control. As you do this, think of your ex as a good person. It may surprise you how much this perspective can help.
A breakup is rarely due to one person, so take his perspective and see what part you played. Remember what you were like when you fell in love and try to get back to that point when possible. Look for every reason, even those that may not be obvious.
There are actually just a few reasons men tend to break up with women. These include:
- Lack of freedom – Women tend to cherish time with their men, but men like some freedom as well. Give him some time to hang out with friends as you do the same.
- No longer attracted – Sometimes men are simply not physically attracted to women anymore. Make sure when you get back together you do not get too comfortable and start ignoring your appearance.
- Does not feel needed – A man wants to feel needed or it effects his self-confidence. Make him feel like you need him in the big and small things.
Design a New Relationship
Start by accepting your relationship is over, at least as it was. Look for the good and build a brand new relationship around what comes. Think about what you want for the new relationship and what you are ready to give to make it work. Write it down, think it over, sleep on it, and reread it. Add or remove things as needed to make it fair to both partners. This will take work, but can take your relationship to new levels. Before taking any action, forgive yourself and your partner to allow for healing.
Be the Object of His Desire
Change up and improve your look to win back your man. The better you look, the better you will feel and behave. Small changes are key, nothing major like surgery or a tattoo as these are just attention seeking behaviors. These types of big changes make you appear desperate.
Choose something in your style, not something fake that you will not keep up long term. It is not about a personality change, but emphasizing what is or was attractive to your ex.
Use the knowledge you have to communicate in the right ways with him. If he prefers an email or text to face to face, use that method. If you are uncertain, send a text or card to show you are thinking of him. Then wait.
The first conversation is never easy, but here are a few tricks to help keep you going:
- Be interested, not critical or jealous
- Be straightforward without any games
- Respect him and his decisions no matter what they are
- Do not be pitiful
- Try to stick with failsafe topics at first (current events, TV, and movies)
When in Public
If you meet face to face in public, it can be tense, so here are a few helpful hints:
- Make eye contact subtly to remind him what makes his heart race
- Do not go overboard about anything
- Be interesting and let him see you are living a full life even though he is not in it, but do not be indifferent or arrogant
- Be subtly seductive if you happen to be in a group
- Show him you are doing well and will be fine if he chooses to stay away
- If he is with someone else, do not let your nerves show
Seal the Deal
If you see signs he is gaining interest then start seeing each other more regularly. As you do, establish a better relationship than before. Always be straightforward without being overwhelming and discuss what you both want.
Show him you are ready to make some changes in order for things to work, but that both of you will need to adjust some. Keep your list in mind from before. Any touching should be delicate and affectionate.
Finally, do not have sex with your ex until you are officially back together as this would show him, he can use you indiscriminately. Use the extra attraction to keep him interested.
Does He Want You Back?
Even if you are starting to hang out, but are unsure if he wants to get back together, you can look for the signs.
- He is probably interested if he tells you about his day to day.
- If he sends texts and emails just to say hello, he is probably interested.
- When he wants to talk about the break-up and how things may have worked then he wants you back.
- When he starts looking at you the way he used to, he is definitely hooked.
Just the Beginning
With the right game plan and these tips, you can get your boyfriend back. This is just the beginning and though you are feeling loved again, do not get overly relaxed. You must keep working on the relationship.
Is It Too late?
No worries, it is never really too late. Just as you miss relatives that have been gone for a while, as soon as you run into your ex those positive memories will come flooding back. The possibility of a reunion is always present.
Just makes rue you are not playing a game like trying to make him jealous. Humiliating him will do nothing but drive him further away. This is just too risky and can make him figure you have moved on. Even if it does work for a short time, it will not create a lasting relationship. If you must do something, hang out with good male friends.
Each situation is unique, so the best of luck to what happens in yours. Find your happiness with your ex or someone new.