The things that you say to your children can change their thinking and it can be hurtful. You can either choose to talk to your child with love or you can be mean and harsh. Harsh words can damage your child and can make them afraid of you.

Words can be very hurtful and toxic. Words can cause your child to have damage and the way that you can avoid hurting your child is to make sure that you say things that are kind and loving.

Financial Pressures

When you tell your child that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” you are putting your financial burdens on them. It can be hard for families to have enough money and by talking about this, it can bring stress to your child.

Children don’t understand finances and it is not fair for you to act like they do. Don’t take away your child’s food to prove them that you don’t have enough money and don’t send your child to a birthday party without a gift just to show them that your finances aren’t strong. Doing this will make your child feel guilty.

Try to say things that your child will understand and won’t make them feel bad such as, “We don’t have enough money for that right now but we can try next month.”

Manners

Teaching your child manners is important but you have to make sure that you aren’t putting them down when you do this. Say things like, “be nice and don’t be rude.” And explain to your child what is rude and wrong to say.

Don’t say things like, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” This gives them an option to not learn how to speak their mind in a respectful way.

Parenting

Everyone was born from someone, and you cannot say things like, “You’re just like your mom or dad.” By doing this, you are making your child feel that they aren’t good enough or that they are going to be “bad” like the parent is telling them. This isn’t true and can be hurtful to everyone involved.

Telling Santa

Don’t threaten your child with not getting presents or telling Santa on them. Doing this can make your child feel that they are bad or that they aren’t going to get something if they mess up. Your child will become stressed and anxious, and this is not good for them.

By telling your child that they are going to be on Santa’s bad list, you are creating behaviors that reinforce stress and hurt. Focus on positive things and your child will be more receptive to this.

Saying the Word Gay

Never tell your child, “Something is gay.” By doing this, you are putting people down that are part of the LGBTQ+ community and this can be seen as prejudice. If you don’t like something, say, “this isn’t a good idea,” or “this is weird.”

Don’t encourage your child to say things that can make them feel that someone else is less than they are. Your children need to be respectful no matter how someone lives.

Final Thoughts

These things above are things that we need to avoid and make sure that we don’t say to our children. Find phrases to say to your child that bring confidence, hope, and love. Make sure that you are teaching positive things and avoiding things that are negative.